stop being so nice to your clients [idgaf 004]

Hello there Reader,

I know, absolutely KNOW, that people are gonna take this advice wrong. And yet... it must be said:

If you're offering a service based around your expertise, stop being so nice.

Being an an expert means you know how to do it properly. The very reason clients come to you is because you know how to deliver the result they want. But, as always happens, they'll sometimes give feedback or make a request that will make the result worse. Or sometimes they'll even tell you what to do!

You don't want to be rude, so you give in. Next minute, you're no longer the expert. Now you're taking orders and delivering a shitty project. And when that doesn't work out as planned, who do those clients blame? Yeah, that's right; the overly polite Reader 😭

If this sounds like a familiar (and repetitive) story... well that's why I wrote this email.

When you do stuff that clients don't really understand, they tend to easily approve that part of it while spending ridiculous amounts of time arguing over the trivial bits they do understand. This is a problem for us as experts, because they'll ignore the brilliant and complex strategy that drives our decisions, and just let their personal taste take the wheel.

I'll see this with my design work, where a client has zero feedback about the overall design approach, but doesn't like how the font looks (it's their brand font), or thinks the blue is being too blue (it's their brand blue). Sometimes, they feel they need to give some sort of feedback to get their money's worth, so they'll ask for a change that they don't even care about, just to stamp some authority around the place.

And if I listen to these people, the project starts to look worse, I hate it more, it won't deliver the outcome we wanted, and that just does NOT end well. Say goodbye case study, and hello burnout.

And then we've got AI, which lets your clients look shit up at any point and get some mediocre take or opinion on how to approach something. They're getting the benefit of knowledge, without the depth and experience needed to apply that knowledge properly.

Then they just copy/paste ChatGPT generated feedback that they don't even read or understand. Or they tell you a process to follow based on what Claude told them to do. Or they send you a bland Gemini generated logo, asking you to do a polished version.

Setting aside the simple atrocity of being told what to do by a glorified IF-THEN-ELSE function, the advice and feedback is going to be the most generic crap you've seen in your life. If you follow it, you know the outcome will suck.

I don't know about you guys, but I'm not satisfied putting out slop just because my clients are choosing to be lazy and dumb.

I've said yes to the stupid request before. I want the project done, I don't want to annoy them, ultimately it's their money and choice, if I just do this thing they'll approve and I can get this off my plate. Right?

WRONG!

That stupid request ends up looking like crap, so they ask for something else to compensate. Or they realise it's wrong so want you to try something else instead. But then they've got a taste for making changes, and they gain this level of confidence in it. They start to act like they're your project manager or senior or something. Shit snowballs fast.

Stop being nice about it. When you get a request (assuming it's a bad one); push back. Point to the goals and objectives they said they have, ask them to explain how their request does a better job of achieving those goals. If they're wrong, educate them about it. If necessary, explain the potential flow on effect of what they're asking for.

And if they still refuse to budge, tell them to acknowledge in writing that they're ignoring your expertise and are taking ownership of the result. That way you've covered your butt (and I've had clients stand down at this point).

This might seem aggressive and argumentative, but you need to protect yourself. They came to you because you're an expert, so act like it. Being too nice to your clients and letting them walk over you will result in you putting out shitty work for shitty people and feeling shitty all the time - while those shitty people go around telling everyone you're the shitty one. Don't let that happen.

If this entire email has been giving you this sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach because you're already in this situation, it's okay. I wasn't going to leave you in the lurch: it's never too late to reclaim your authority. It might not be easy, but it's doable as long as you're willing to have The Uncomfortable Chat™

You have to let them know it isn't working, why it's not working (ie. your experience and expertise isn't being used), and give them their options to move forward. I recommend taking ownership of how it got to this point instead of blaming them, and explain that typically you'd push back on client suggestions that run counter to what your expertise tells you to do. You just wanted to be accommodating, but that wasn't the right move in hindsight.

As far as the options to give them, I only really see 3 ways this can go.

If they do pick option 1, just take the project back to what you think would work, and then don't implement any of their stupid ideas. I've personally re-started an entire project from scratch because I saw no way to turn Frankenstein's website into something that would be effective.

Disclaimer: It should go without saying, don't be a rude jerk to your clients. Just don't let them push you around because you're scared of offending them or having them walk away. They've hired you to be the expert; so be the expert.

Okay, this was for the 5+ people on my email list I personally know have had to deal with this, but hopefully more of you found it interesting and useful.

And hey: if you've got something you're dealing with in your business, reply and let me know and maybe one of my future emails will be about that 😅

Cowabunga,Nick Gulic