ufff that's so brutal [idgaf 034]

Cass: hey, remember before you redid your site, and that guy gave you feedback but it was all stuff you already knew?

Me: huh? no??

Cass: hahaha I know your own past better than you

I was talking to Cass about getting and giving feedback, and she reminded me of this situation (well, when I eventually remembered what she was talking about).

Basically, before I redid my Creative Click website, I’d reached out to this dude that does website messaging work for agencies to get myself a “free teardown” (much like I used to offer).

And he went through everything, and he told me stuff I already thought and knew about myself. It’s good I already felt that way, cause the teardown was leaning a bit on the negative side.

What Cass pointed out was how some people get a bit shitty when you give them feedback, yet I ended up getting inspired and redoing my own website and making it aaawwwweeessssooooommmeeeeee.

See, I love getting (valid) feedback. Even more when it kinda hurts a bit, cause that means its something I probably wouldn’t have ever realised myself.

As humans, we have so many blind spots when it comes to identifying our own weaknesses. So when someone is willing to shine a spotlight on those weaknesses, that’s HUGE. It helps so much!

That’s why I’m stupidly free with giving feedback to people that ask.

I had the free website teardown offers on my site for ages. I used to do free reviews for any of my Linkedin friends that asked. In the idgaf community, any member can ask me to review their stuff and give feedback, whether its a website, or a linkedin post, or an article, or something else entirely.

Over the past 6 months alone, I’ve given feedback on 47 websites, 8 linkedin posts, 3 pieces of longform content, 17 or so videos, and a handful of random pieces of content that don’t quite fit in any of those buckets.

And each time I do it, I take the time and the care to give reasonable and valid feedback, that’s intended to help the person that asked.

There IS something weird I’ve noticed though, which kinda spins me out each time.

I feel like such a boomer saying this, but mannnnn people seem to get offended when I give them the very feedback they asked for.

I’m not a jerk - I tailor my feedback to the skills and level of the person.

If they’re a writer, I’ll point out any content that reads rough, sounds like AI, or just doesn’t make sense. If they’re a designer, of course I’m going to highlight design issues if they have any. And if they’re neither, I’ll point at stuff that’s reasonable to expect them to be able to handle, like figuring out who the site is meant to talk to.

Yet, more often than not, I get “ouch, brutal” as a response 😑

It’s like a lot of these people were expecting me to validate how awesome they are, then get all mad cause the delusion gets shooketh.

When I get feedback, the first thing I look at is whether it’s valid or not. Or as I call it, business or personal lol.

Sometimes people talk shit cause of personal reasons. They’re trying to cut you down, or they’re jealous you’re doing something they’re not, or whatever BS reason they have for being nasty. If that’s the vibe you’re getting, take that feedback with a heavy grain of salt (and tequila and lime).

On the other hand, most people tend to tell you stuff because they see a genuine issue or problem or mistake or whatever. That’s business, not personal.

That’s the kind of feedback you should take more seriously. If you’re being honest about it, do they have a point? Does it highlight a weakness you weren’t aware of? Is this something you should maybe do something about?

All valid questions to ask yourself.

It can be tough to hear though. And what you should not do in this situation is take it personally. If someone is kind enough to let you know about a mistake in your work or something you can do better, it’s not an attack on you. They’re actually doing you a favour.

Now you’ve got something you can improve. And when you do that, you’re now better at the thing.

Feedback is a good thing: seek it out when you can, but don’t get your knickers in a twist when it wasn’t what you were expecting.

If you use it to improve and get better (as intended), and you’ll see yourself grow. If you decide to get all pissy instead, well then you’ll end up all sour and whining about it to other people.

Totally your choice either way, but I know what I’d prefer.

Some quick awesome points:

Catch ya next week!

Cowabunga,
Nick Gulic